there is no point to life. what should i do
"If you change the way you wait at things, the things you expect at change." ~Wayne Dyer
How many days do you wake up feeling similar you lot're a hamster on a wheel? Y'all brush your teeth, accept a shower, drinkable your coffee, go to work, come home, swallow dinner, watch telly, get to bed, and rinse and repeat.
Do you wonder how you tin can go on going and continue everything together when information technology feels like you're doing nothing, going nowhere, and living some life you weren't meant for?
Do yous always wonder what to do on those days where you feel similar you can't get on? On days where life seems to take no signal? You're going through the motions, just at that place is always an empty pit somewhere within your soul that never seems to fill.
It seems that no thing how hard you endeavour, you lot end up in the aforementioned spot, in the same position having to start all once more, and your inability to change your messed upwards emotional patterns starts taking an excruciating toll.
You wonder and think and read and try to interruption free from the subconscious battles within your mind, but the negative stranglehold has a strong grip and does not want to release you lot so easily.
Maybe the pain has get intolerable, and instead of going away it has continued to swallow away at your peace of mind chip by flake. Merely, then some other day dawns and you're still here and you live to outset again.
I accept been in a cycle of rinse and repeat for more years than I care to remember. I have inverse jobs at least ten times, apartments and locations 20-three times, and boyfriends six times. I've had the aforementioned happy hour and the same weekends and the aforementioned soul-searching periods over and over and over again.
I take tried to alter all these external things considering I figured changing the outside would alter the inside. Simply similar they always say, "Wherever y'all go, in that location you are."
Despite traveling the world, changing jobs, moving, and having relationships, I alive my life in a little bubble because I feel safe there, and staying prophylactic means being resistant to any existent transformation. It doesn't matter that I've changed my circumstances; the end result is ever the same: I feel bored and empty and lost and alone.
You feel bored and empty and lost and lone because you never really exercise anything different. Whether yous stay stuck because you're an introvert or you lot accept social feet or you're depressed or you're lazy doesn't matter. The fact of the affair is, change nothing and nix will change.
Look, I go information technology. I am a tried and true introvert, so developing relationships is exhausting. People remember I'm extroverted because I can talk quite a bit one-on-1, but put me in a group and I'll mollusk up. I become super anxious at parties or in large groups of people, preferring 1-on-one in-depth interactions. Existence an introvert makes life a little more challenging in a world that embraces and rewards extroversion.
And then, perhaps there are days when you experience like y'all're going nowhere and you don't fit in and life has no betoken. But, you can change it, even if just a little. There are some picayune things you can do to alter your patterns and your life.
How Do You Keep Trying?
First, you go up every damn day and say, "Today is a day for change" and you do your best and confront the world, whether you lot want to or not. Every day you fight for yourself because if you don't, no 1 else volition. I know it's hard and I know some days yous desire to stay in bed with the covers over your caput. Only, don't do it. Get upwardly. Go for a walk. Do something. Anything.
Some days I strength myself to get in the car and drive to the beach (okay, it's only four miles) considering I'one thousand so comfortable in my apartment. Every time I go there I'1000 happy I did. I roll out my towels and read a book while listening to the waves crash, or I walk forth the water'due south edge watching the sand between my toes and squishing those weird lilliputian seaweed blobs.
2nd, you kickoff condign aware of the negative thought patterns in your mind and how they bear upon you when you get caught upward in them. The truth is, you are reacting to events in your life in a mode that is detrimental rather than helpful. Negativity breeds more than negativity and keeps yous stuck on that hamster cycle.
I'm not saying it's easy. I become it. Some days when I'm trying super hard to recall positively, my mind says, "Yeah, I don't care. I am going to experience or retrieve this way anyway, so deal with it." Some days I simply need to comprehend how I experience instead of forcing myself to exist positive. But I know I need to eventually shift my mindset or I'll always be stuck. So, I continue trying. If you lot tin can't change the way you lot see the world, so the earth you come across volition never change.
Recently I plant myself on the verge of a breakup, a move, a deploying boyfriend, and no job. My head went into a tailspin worrying about what I would exercise or where I would become and why this was happening. But, with all the piece of work I've been doing on myself, I decided to see everything in a new calorie-free.
Perchance this was an opportunity for positive change instead of a devastating loss. I stopped worrying and started believing I would be okay. I was only able to practise this because I take been practicing irresolute my perspective. Retrieve of your mind as a muscle. If you strengthen it and work it out, it becomes stronger. If you let it sit in that location and wallow in self-pity, it never grows.
I stopped focusing on the worst-case scenario, and do you lot know what happened? We didn't intermission upwardly. He signed for an apartment united states, and I got a task inside a week of his departure. I know things won't e'er work out how I want them to just because I think positively, only I at present believe I will be okay no matter what happens, and that'southward making a huge deviation.
The same can exist true for you.
Yous may confront unexpected challenges. Nosotros all do. Changing your mindset won't guarantee that everything will be okay. But it volition give you the insight and force to believe that you volition exist okay and that you tin handle what life dishes upward. And it will also help you lot create a life that feels more fulfilling and less empty.
The first step in any change is recognition. Y'all can't change what you lot don't acknowledge. Start to find that you have a negative blueprint of thinking that keeps y'all stuck. I'm guessing y'all will probably exist amazed at how much and how often your mind wanders toward the negative.
From there, beginning practicing mindfulness, which basically means you are aware of what you're thinking, but you don't become caught upward in your thoughts. See if yous can separate the negative thoughts from your being. Anyone who has studied meditation volition tell you that you can utilize a technique to altitude yourself from your thoughts. Try to identify them in a balloon and picket them fly away.
You are not your thoughts and feelings. You experience thoughts and feelings, but they don't need to own yous. I know this isn't piece of cake, but it is doable.
Personally, my mind ever sees arrears instead of abundance. Whether this came from years of sexual corruption or family upbringing or genetic coding, I'm not certain, and at this signal I don't really intendance why. What matters is that I want to change it because it has become exhausting to always be then unsatisfied.
How Practice You lot Consequence All This Change?
Tony Robbins says that alter can happen in an instant, but I recall that argument needs a niggling tweaking. I think the power to modify tin can happen in an instant. When y'all determine you want more or you deserve better or y'all become ill and tired of being sick and tired, so yous accept at present opened the door to alter.
One way to start creating change is to change the words you apply to draw how you're feeling. Our language affects our emotions, and our emotions influence our choices. Tony Robbins offers a 10-Day Claiming that can assist with this.
I love this challenge because it forces you to take a hard, deep look at how you speak to yourself and how you care for yourself daily and fifty-fifty hourly.
Adjacent, attempt to cultivate more happiness in your life a little fleck at a time. Research has shown that happiness is, in fact, a choice, and although you may have a sure "set indicate" of happiness, you do have the ability to make yourself happier past doing things like:
Outset meditating.
Everyone must be spouting the benefits of meditation for a reason, right? Well, studies have shown that meditation can improve our health mentally and physically by reducing stress.
Yous don't accept to turn into Buddha and sit under a tree for hours, but even five to ten minutes per solar day will give you a few moments of insightful reflection and peace. If you're like me and have a wandering mind, starting time out with guided meditation because they'll keep you more focused.
A few of my favorites are The Honest Guys and Jason Stephenson.
Brainstorm a gratitude journal.
Studies have shown that writing downwards three specific things y'all are grateful for every day for but twenty-i days will increase your happiness. Tiny Buddha has a great gratitude journal to get y'all started.
Volunteer or find a way to help someone.
Volunteering connects usa to other people, and it can requite united states a sense of purpose. It can also be fun and enjoyable, if you cull something based on your interests, like working with kids in the arts or baking birthday cakes for underprivileged youth. Perhaps you beloved animals but tin can't beget 1 or aren't home enough to have care of one, but you lot can take some time to volunteer at an beast shelter and assistance them detect a furever abode!
You can probable notice something that interests you at VolunteerMatch.org.
Become out there and practise.
I love endorphins! If y'all're type A and have a lot of free energy, then the more energy you expend during exercise the happier you'll be. If you lot hate the gym (similar me), find something you relish doing whether it'south walking in the woods, doing yoga in the privacy of your own home, or joining a kayaking team. The options are endless.
What about condign a bad-donkey past learning Krav Maga or starting martial arts? I mean, who doesn't desire to be equally Zen every bit Bruce Lee?
Figure out what y'all're practiced at and start doing it.
We all have strengths, and we experience a lot more fulfilled when we apply them instead of sitting effectually, focusing on our weaknesses. If y'all're non sure what your strengths are, accept the character strengths survey hither.
Create a social back up network.
They say that people who have at least five strong social connections are the happiest. Many of us feel so lost and lonely because we take Facebook connections, but no existent or genuine contiguous interactions with friends on a regular ground. If you're an introvert it will be hard and you'll accept to work at it, but the reward will be worth information technology. Meetup is a great place to first.
Write or scrapbook or create something.
Being creative opens your mind to new experiences and new possibilities. Colour in an adult color volume, kickoff a blog, knit, crochet, sculpt or paint, write a children's volume, or periodical every night. Medium.com will permit you to publish your writing without starting a formal blog. Become your heed engaged in anything other than thinking!
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Don't try to exercise everything at once or you'll probable become overwhelmed and feel like y'all're failing. Option one thing and exercise it for a calendar week or ten days, then perchance add another and so on. Every niggling affair you add together will build upwardly similar pebbles of sand on the embankment, and over time you will accept created something cute.
Nosotros live in a guild that wants immediate gratification, and when nosotros don't get information technology we tend to give up and move onto something else and blame the activity for non making us happy. Give it some time, be kind to yourself, take information technology a step at a time, and slowly y'all will see progress.
If you struggle with something you've decided to start, shift your focus to 1 of the other ideas instead of being hard on yourself.
Example: I signed up for a self-defence class to see if I wanted to join. Of course, I cancelled it before going. I told myself I wasn't sure if I could beget information technology right at present and I should wait. In office this is true, but in part I dreaded going to the class. All the same, I'thou not going to trounce myself up about it. I'll try some other things correct now and then I'll put myself back out there and attempt once more.
For now, I re-started meditation, which allows me a few moments to reflect and set new intentions. I've also started writing more, which provides a artistic outlet and gives me a sense of accomplishment.
Beyond that, I'm keeping a gratitude periodical and started a new exercise program. The gratitude journal is great for helping you focus on the positive rather than the negative, and exercise is a general stress reliever. I'thou taking babe steps, and when I'm fix I'll attempt something more than social. Information technology's okay to become at your ain step.
Regardless of what you cull, the point is to alive more in the world and less in your head. Just endeavor it.
I promise there won't be a mean solar day where you say, "Jeez, I wish I didn't practice" or "I wish I didn't go for a walk" or "Helping someone really sucked." But I guarantee if yous don't do anything yous volition regret information technology, and you lot volition wake up one day wondering where your life went and how yous got to the place yous are. And that, my friend, is not what you lot desire.
On this day you can choose life. You tin can choose a new path and things tin can change.
Nearly Carrie L. Burns
Carrie L. Burns is a blogger on a mission of self-discovery. Equally a sexual abuse survivor that struggled for years with depression anxiety, low self-esteem, lack of cocky-beloved, and human relationship bug, she found her purpose through writing and sharing her story with others. Cheque out her other writing at www.acinglife.com.
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Source: https://tinybuddha.com/blog/when-you-feel-like-youre-going-nowhere-and-life-has-no-point/
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